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Fritz Helder

Michael: Is Toronto a good city to be gay in?
Rodney: Yeah, if you’re a certain kind of gay. If you’re white and above average looking, you’ll have sex here. The network seems to be all about gym bunnies. They’ll have fuck weekends out in the Muskoka cottage country.
Where do you go out in Toronto?
I used to go the Beaver, but I don’t feel like I fit in there anymore. It’s all those gays!
What do you mean, ‘those gays’?
The ‘waxy’ gays. I mean, I love me a femme, but I’m thinking of the ones that are too shiny and polished and pretty. I want some down home, dirty dudes. Did you know that on Wednesday nights, guys meet to have sex in the alley at the Beaver?
Behind the grocery store?
In the side alley. To be honest, I’m not such a fan of gay sex in gay places. I find it boring at times. For me, it’s more exciting when gay things happen in really straight places. I like it when you’re in the straightest place and a guy in a business suit wants to suck your dick. Sometimes you don’t know if the guy will rob you or ridicule you or suck your dick. It just…BAM! Now that is sexy!
I think I’ve seen a porn site like that. They’re everywhere.
I think a lot of straight guys want to rebel, because they haven’t had a chance at a revolution. Women have had it, and gays have had it. They might suck a dick or touch one. For them, it’s a rebellious thing. I was at a party and this super straight friend followed me to the bathroom and wanted to suck my dick. I thought he was drunk. The next thing I know, he’s on his knees begging.
How was it?
He was really decent at it. He was a skateboarder, he works construction and he burps a lot. I asked him if he did it before and he mumbled ‘no’, I think, because my dick was in his mouth.
Well, you’re not supposed to talk with your mouth full. So, what is your favorite part of a man’s body?
What do you think! Is that too much of a cliché? Actually, hands! Pretty, beautiful, strong looking hands. I like feet, too.
What else are you into?
I have this fantasy of having sex in a different time in history. I’d like to be a farm boy working for a nobleman who comes down and takes me to the barn. But I also think about the time when kings would have guys as bed warmers because they didn’t have heating. I’d love to be one, because the king would own me and could do whatever he wanted, and when the king came to take the bed I know he would have his way with me. Or maybe there’d be six bed warmers and he’d fuck us all.
So when you’re not hunting for royal cock, what are you up to?
I’m just working on my solo stuff under the name Fritz Helder. We’re just putting stuff out there and seeing people’s reactions. I want to create an image and world in my shows, so I hope people come when I hit Europe!
You always have fun in Paris, don’t you?
Paris is my spot. I like the club Le Depot and there’s this other club that I can’t remember the name of. I can get laid in Paris and in Germany really easily. It’s always men I wouldn’t expect who chase me. They’re usually these tall muscle studs. I’m not saying I’m hot or anything, but one night this guy, who was a little Fabio-esque, chatted me up. I thought he was in a porno I’ve seen but I couldn’t be sure. He had a shaved head, six feet tall with a huge dick. We went to my hotel and he fucked me from 4am until 11am that morning. Soon, I was practically begging for him to stop, and so he would take a three minute break and fuck me again. His friend lived with him and slept on the couch, but it was cool.
His friend didn’t join in?
He just said that he hoped we had a good time and he closed the curtain.
What a hospitable host! So you’re not into the rough sex thing?
I just find the vocabulary limited in those scenarios. How many times can you tell a guy to shut up while you’re fucking him? Don’t get me wrong. I love it sometimes, but not too much. It happens sometimes, for me, with older guys. I like older guys, but they want me to be so submissive. One guy wanted me to call him Daddy and I hated it because in Jamaican culture, you call your dad ‘Daddy’ your whole life. I mean, I call my real dad, Daddy! Sometimes they get too specific. They’ll say ‘You’re eighteen, and your friend is upstairs and you just spilled ketchup on your shirt so I have to punish you.’ I ask myself how long they have been thinking of this.
It’s one step away from showing you a picture of what you would be wearing. What sort of pornos are you watching?
I prefer the general locker room stuff with jock type guys. I don’t get the extreme porn stuff. I mean, extreme? Sometimes the jocks have shaved balls! Look at my neighbor over there. He’s helping an older Chinese lady. There’s a house down the street with five of them and they’re always walking around with their shirts off and they’re cute looking and they look a little sleazy, like they’d cum in your face. Maybe that’s why I don’t have as much sex as I’d like, because I’m always chasing straight guys. I’ll spend a night chasing a straight guy and he might grope me or something, and then I can go home and jerk off thinking about it. It’s so amazing when you do one of those long jerk off sessions, you know, when you almost cum and then stop and do that over and over again. It’s the only way to fly. Usually, it happens on a hot day like this. It’s hot and you’re so bothered and your skin is crawling. There he is again! Don’t look now.
He is! He looks eighteen and he has the most amazing chest.
He’s going down the alley. Maybe we could start our own alley party. It could start around 2:30am. We’ll have lemonade.
Sticky!